Paleolithic Alchemy

After weeks of having my ass glued to the chair, I finally found a gym that: 1) I like, 2) is not too expensive, 3) is close enough that I can ride there on my bike (thus taking care of cardio).

Good, one item off the list (so to speak).

So far I knew that I wanted to work out and get in shape, but I didn't really have exact idea what I wanna go for? Big and bulky or wiry with defined abs? Nah... Don't laugh, but it actually took me watching the "Thor" movie to realize that lean and muscular is the way to go. After a bit of digging around the world wide web, I found out what exactly the bloke (Chris Hemsworth) playing the God of Thunder did to get in the shape that landed and secured him the role...

The routine I'm gonna use helped him to go from twink to hunk in 3 months, so lets see, starting Monday, what in the same time frame can be achieved here...

Now, I have two out of three ingredients needed for the transformation I desire (I think it sounds tad more drastic than it actually is, lol), but a gym routine and tons of workout don't mean nor do anything without appropriate diet.

And this is what I wanted to write about today, actually. Cooking ;)

I've always liked to cook, although I haven't really been cooking that much during the past few years, for variety of reasons (read: excuses).

Recently though, I've been reading some articles and eventually landed on a site about Paleo diet...

Now, for those of you who don't actually know what that is, let me explain, briefly. Paleo (short for Paleolithic) diet works on (in my opinion legitimate) evolutionary assumption that our bodies are mostly attuned for the food our species has been eating throughout it's history. Now, given the fact that agriculture has been around for some 10.000 years, but before that we were for hundreds of thousands years primarily hunters-gatherers, the food we eat nowadays (especially grains and dairy) is not really what our bodies are built for (if you wanna find out more, look here or try Wikipedia).

I do like this notion, and even after exploring it from different angles, I can easily relate to it. So, here I am now, in the beginning of a trip back in time, re-exploring possible dietary habits of our ancestors (well, basically, I won't eat anything made of grain or milk, like bread and cheese and whatnot, nor anything that comes from a box + I'll eat when I'm hungry, not at a set time of day... sometimes I'll pig out on fruit or meat, and sometimes I'll have just enough to get me through the day).

Luckily for me, there is a farmer's market in my neighborhood once a week and I can easily get supplies of fresh vegetable, fruit and herbs for the whole week, and, more important, for a fraction of the price I'd pay in a supermarket (now I think of it, next week I'll try to take some pics and post them here).

That, together with a butcher's shop round a corner, covers pretty much all my new-found culinary caveman needs.

Aaaaanyway, what I was getting at is how all this made me remember how much I enjoy cooking. I've always found it somewhat like alchemy (at least the way I cook), with all the spices and ingredients waiting to be combined, never knowing what the outcome will be, gold or barely edible?!

Now, now, I'm just kidding, I actually cook quite well, but the truth is, I do love to experiment in the kitchen and lets face it, the Paleo diet offers me just that.

Thus, my dear friends, the dish of the day (for today) was this...

First of all, yeah, I love my plates too ;)

Second of all, it's a very simple dish, took me less than 1/2 hour from the time I started chopping first onion to the time I arranged it on the plate (and scrubbed the counter) so I can take a picture of it.

I took one big onion, few spring onions (two different kinds) and chopped them into bigger or smaller pieces. Next was one big green pepper, cleaned and chopped, 3 big cloves of garlic and (that's where it's gonna become a real alchemy) 3 medium sized fresh figs, cleaned and sliced. All that, except the figs, went in the pan. Next I sliced some pork (I'd tell you what part exactly, but my Greek isn't that good and my butcher doesn't speak English - It's a point and buy arrangement, like internet, only with more social interaction, cheeky smiles and thumbs up) and put it on the top of all the chopped onions and pepper (don't forget to put some garlic on the meat, too). That's when the figs come in play as I use the slices as a top layer to cover everything else in the pan. And, that's almost it... Almost, because the last thing that goes in is a generous handful (and I mean, really, really generous) of finely chopped fresh fennel. Pour in one big glass of water, put a lid on the pan and let it cook on a strong flame until almost all the water is gone (lol, and be careful about that, you can see that some of the onions turned slightly, ehm ehm, black...).

That's it, as simple as that and let me tell you, it was delicious.

Btw, the red round things on the plate are fresh figs, cut in half... I could have put a couple of fresh fennel twigs on the top, too, but I couldn't be bothered and really, I'm not that posh ;)

Anyway, paleolithic kitchen alchemy rules!

My Worst Enemy

This morning I woke up and I felt like shit (pardon my French). I guess it happens to all of us, every now and then. We wake up on the wrong side of bed, or whatever, filled with doubts of our self worth, wondering whether our attempts to succeed have any decent ground to stand on.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not whining here, nor am I looking for pity and sympathy, I just want to describe my morning struggle with myself, and the aftereffects of thereof...

Although objectively, during the past few weeks, I've been quite productive, (you know, getting my life back together, becoming a proud owner of new washing machine, buying a bicycle and actually riding it daily, managing to get a "shared custody" of my dog, working on my design skills (see below), reconnecting with my old friends and making some new ones), subjectively I don't really feel I've achieved that much.

The thing that threw me off this morning was that little nagging voice back in the darkest pits of my mind, asking a simple question, "you are just playing around, what the hell are you doing and where the hell do you think it will lead?"... Of course, since it was the voice of that little monster hiding in all of us, it provided me with an answer right away... "nothing and nowhere"...

So, I say, nay, I shout for the whole wide world to hear it, "F*ck you, you little b*tch, I'm gonna show you who's the BOSS here"...

I've never expected to get my life together in one week and if it's small steps it takes, then small steps it is!

The small step of today is cleaning this mess of an apartment. For the past two and something years I've been keeping this place solely as a storage space for all my stuff. Since I've rented it, I slept here not more than a dozen times, dropping by every now and then just to get different clothes (depending on season), pick up some paperwork or documents I needed and that was it. This place, for two years, has basically been gathering dust, excess clothes and piles of paperwork. It looks accordingly to what its purpose has been so far. I haven't even unpacked the stuff my ex dropped off after the break up (although there might be an underlying reason there).

Frankly, I think this place needs to be organized, rather than cleaned, but you get what I mean. Today I finally unpack, reorganize my stuff and put it all away. There are some power outlets that need fixing. Kitchen is going to be a bit of a challenge, but hey. Tomorrow (today it's Sunday and I'm in Greece, I don't think I need to say more) I'm getting a decent vacuum cleaner (the one I have now must have been manufactured in 70's, at this point it's easier to try to kick the dust to death, rather than using that old piece of junk) and I'm gonna do some serious damage.

As a small bonus step for tomorrow, I found the cheapest gym around (which is still ridiculously expensive, c'est la vie) and I'm signing up...

Anyway, so you can agree with me that the time I put into improving and reinventing myself hasn't been wasted, here are some examples of what I've been working on...

The "ME" Year

So, I am finally back from my month on the road, home in my snug little flat in one of the nicer southern suburbs of Athens. The season is over, for me, at least, and I'm ready, as ready as I can be, to finally take this show on the road... Let the "ME" year begin!

The last couple of weeks have been, surprisingly, very productive (if productive is the right word to use here). I have actually managed to move on with both the "going on 30" and "ultimate" bucket lists, taking giant leaps and small steps at once, and life is goooooood.

First and foremost, the complicated relationship situation is finally resolved (although it actually resolved itself, in a way). I am single now, and all better for it. After three years of giving and giving (or, more accurate, giving up and giving up pieces of me and my life), the push came to shove and I was dumped...

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter or anything, the moment I found out (turning on Facebook and seeing I'm single, one morning), I felt relieved.

I have been contemplating the future of this relationship for months now, especially since it kept on failing to fulfill one of the most basic and fundamental purposes of pairing up with another fellow primate of the given species (besides procreation): sharing available resources, manpower, abilities and skills in order to increase chance of survival in the hard, cruel and ever changing world we live in.

I have to admit, my feelings are little bruised, since I do feel that I was discarded like an accessory, soon to be replaced by another, more fitting model, but c'est la vie, that's just ego talking.

To be fair, I still feel that I've got enough out of this experience, although not the way I expected. All the numerous small and big lessons, learning a lot about myself along the way, are priceless. This I say without any trace of irony.

As an afterthought, with just a pinch of bitterness, I'll say this. My dear friends, girls and guys alike, beware an insecure man! 

On a side note, referring to my ultimate bucket list, I have shaved my head, the very first time in my life and I love it. Of course, when I saw myself in the mirror right after, I realized I might resemble a concentration camp survivor, but hell, now I'm used to it, ladies and gentlemen, I'm HOT ;)

You can see that at least my ego didn't shrink...

Getting There...

Last couple of months has been somewhat hectic, and having to deal with tons of other things, professional and personal, I took a bit of a break from writing (or at least blogging, to be more specific, see below...).

My students and their exams, touring around Greece and Italy, trying to figure out what to do about my strange and confusing relationship... all of these things kinda got in a way of writing about my life, although I guess it's a good thing I actually have a life that gets in a way of being written about, right?

Well, do not despair, my faithful readers, all 8 of you, because although you were not being regularly updated, I did not procrastinate - at least not as much as I usually do. I keep on working on ways how to reinvent myself and get my act together, thus I will provide you with a short list of some semi-achievements...

I've started working out, few months back, in the rhythm of Zumba. I used to dance back in the day, so I thought this would be an easy way how to get back in shape. Shows how much I know. I've lasted about a week, but in my defense, it's hard to stick to a routine, when you spend every other week on a bus with bunch of tourists. Obviously, Zumba is not the way, at least for me... On the bright side, I have actually started working out again, later on, weights and push ups and what not, and I'm happy to report that at this very moment, as a result,  I feel really sore all over. I have one more tour ahead, one more week on the road, and then it will hopefully be much easier to keep pushing myself.

Relationship and housing-wise, I've attempted several times to have a meaningful, constructive and productive conversation with my other half, regarding our future, goals and last, but not the least, financial situation, but alas, we have not come to a mutual understanding, consensus, if you will, and so these days (read: weeks to months) I am contemplating the future from variety of different angles, one of them as being single...

Now, the really good news is that I've started working on a novel, the concept of which I'm fairly excited about and so far the reviews from the people I've presented it to were good, so hey... Being fairly certain that my critics are not the kind of folk who'd try to make me feel better by hiding their opinion makes me feel like the book might not be a lost cause (though it still needs an unbelievable amount of work) and for the time being, I'm content with that. Once again, after the last tour of the summer is over, I intent to devote all of my time to working on it.

All in all, although I can't present you with any concrete accomplishments at this very moment, I'm actually quite satisfied with the way things are going, or, to put it as a proactive person I want to be when I grow up should, the way I'm making them go...

So yeah, I'm getting there...

I Blame It On The Fairy Tales

I haven't been writing much, I know. The truth is, besides being busy with work (thank god), lately I haven't really been able to see the bright side of life. I'm not a pessimist, nor do I suffer from depression, it's just that sometimes, not very often, the "Dark Jake" takes over and then I'm more on the introverted side... C'est la vie :)

The good thing is, while I don't post here, I take notes on everything that crosses my mind, so at this point there's a nice long list in my phone with topics that (hopefully) soon will populate my blog...

Anyway, here's one right now:

Remember when you were a kid and your parents used to read you fairy tales? How simple was your life then, right? You were listening to fables from faraway lands, full of adventure and magnificent victories, and most of the time the morale of the story was very simple: when life brings obstacles in your way, all you have to do is get off your ass, make a wish (or, optionally, be polite to people who you meet on the way, in case they can make your wish come true) and eventually, without much effort (and with help of a magical artifact or two) you would reach your goal, achieve your dreams and live happily ever after...

People who write fairy tales like that should be shot. They fill your head with unrealistic ideas about how simple life can be if only you want to.

I think I'm not the only one who grew up into life of bitterness and disappointment, solely due to the realization things just don't work like that.

I'm seriously considering rewriting some of the classic stories of our childhood. The educational value needs to be refitted for the needs of our era. Luck, wishes and happy endings are great, but what about hard work? What about trying and trying and still failing miserably? What about slowly and painfully working your way up and facing the cruel fact that you might not be good at what you do, you've chosen the wrong road to travel along, you might have to reinvent yourself and begin from scratch again?

And don't even let me start on perfect love, prince Charming and living "happily ever after", without any trials that normal relationships bring, without the problems that arise when two people want different things and have different expectations (A friend of mine has this whole neat theory about Mr. Right. She divides men into Mr. Right Enough and Mr. Right Now, good for her).

Anyway, all these miraculous concepts polluted our minds, our fragile souls of childhood were forever blackened and tarnished by the notion of effortless future.

So, the fairytale I wish someone had read to me when I was the age when listening to fairy tales before falling into the sweet embrace of sleep was acceptable, goes something like this: 

"Once upon a time there was a boy called ...(use a name of your choice) and one day he's left his old mother's house (but he still kept in touch, because family is important, no matter what mistakes our parents might have made raising us) and decided to travel the world until he'd find his fortune. He travelled across the land, crossing rivers and forests and mountains, meeting all kinds of people, gathering experience and learning about life in general, until, after a lot of searching, he found a place he liked and decided to settle down.

He became a ... (once again, fill in the profession of your choice), because in his life he tried many things and now he knew this was what he'd like to do for the rest of his life (or at least for the time being). He started working hard on his skills, slowly but surely becoming better and better, mastering his profession. He had a couple of unsuccessful relationships, and one day, after few years of being single (and it's OK to be single, being with someone should not be an ultimate goal of one's life, romantic relationships are not the only relationships out there, friendship is equally important) he's met a person (I'm trying to be politically correct here) that he kinda liked.

They went out few times, the chemistry was good, they had similar interests and sense of humor (which always helps) and after few months they moved in together, and they lived relatively happily (with some both minor and major ups and downs, because that's how relationships work) until one of them died and the other followed soon after (see, you can't say I'm not at least a little bit romantic)."

This is the kind of bedtime story, in a nutshell, that might have made my life a whole lot easier to manage, comprehend and live.

The End

Endorphin Crash

First of all, I feel I should explain the reason why I haven't published anything in last couple of weeks.

Couple of days ago I've returned from a week long tour of Greece and Italy. During the spring and summer I work in tourism (not sure what's the part time job here, teaching or this?), and on this particular tour I was lucky enough to travel with few like minded individuals and their offsprings.

Just so you get an idea, doing this job basically means I get to sleep some 5-6 hours a day and for the rest of time I deal with all those little things that might happen when a big group of people travels places that don't follow the same rules they know from wherever they come from (I'm talking about things getting stolen and broken, events being missed, transportation and accomodation overbooked or in bad condition, people getting lost etc. - I basically do damage control - and prevention, whenever that's possible).

I have to say, as this group was randomly assigned to me, I couldn't wish for more. We instantly clicked, the chemistry was great, we could talk about anything from things mundane to art and current affairs, and during this week I felt, after quite some time, fulfilled and presented with just enough challenges to make my life once again interesting without making it too stressfull. A perfect combo (I really hope they've enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed theirs).

Truth is, besides all the intellectual stimulation, I haven't laughed like I did on this tour in ages. I swear, the level of endorphin in my blood went through the roof, my cheeks and abs were literally hurting for few days after the tour was over.

Alas, all good things come to an end.

I got back to Athens, back to my ("more") normal life and that's where the problem lies. I have nothing to do....

No challenges to face, to problems to solve. For the past few days my biggest mental effort was how to spend the time between waking up, occasional meals and hitting the sack. So far I've watched the whole second season of "Community" and 10 minutes ago I've finished watching "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World". Sad, that's what it is...

After the very hectic (but extremely enjoyable) week on the road, I came back home and, as messed up as it is, I have no reason to get up before noon.

It's hard being proactive, when there's nothing to be proactive about. Plus, I miss being high on endorphin. I need a fix ;)

Racial Memory

"Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake" 

                                                                     Henry David Thoreau

The reason why I begin today's post with a quote is simple. Today I will write about dreams, and I thought, hey, a nice quote might be just what I need to introduce the subject. Mind you, to find a fitting quote was not that easy, since most of the ones mentioning dreams are more focused on aspirations and suchlike, instead of dreams that come to us when our minds rest at night (By the way, until I googled it up, I had no idea who H.D. Thoreau was, ignorant, ignorant me...).

So... I have one reoccurring dream. It's not the one when I'm falling, neither the one in which someone is chasing me and I'm trying to run away, but I can't, because my feet are too heavy.

It's not even one of the "flying" ones. I have enough dreams in which I can fly, which is great, since I can usually do it at will, but this dream is very different.

To begin with, it doesn't occur very often, but when it does, it feels almost as a memory, and not a dream at all. I can even smell fresh grass and moss, as strange as it sounds.

In this dream, I run, but not away from anything. Sometimes I run just for the pure joy it brings, sometimes I actually chase something; not anything in partucular, but a prey, nevertheless. You see, in this dream I run on all four.

I can feel the soft layer of moss and dead leaves underneath my, for lack of better word, feet (I don't want to write paws, I'm not a "Twillight" fan), the moment of impact when my front foot hits the ground, the recoil of muscles as they store the energy of my step while the momentum of chase keeps on pushing me onwards, and then, the spring that lifts me up and foreward, before I have to touch the ground again.

All of this is somewhat hard to explain in words, but you get the idea, I hope. To imagine the whole thing, multiply by four (four feet, right?) and you are almost there...

Anyway, it's a cool dream, but since it's rather strange, it got me thinking maybe it's some kind of racial memory (a quick definition here), especially since it's connected to the sense of smell. You know, some kind of echo coming from the early mammalian parts of my brain, since the mechanics of the run I experience are both very hard to imagine and feel very natural at the same time.

Does it seem rather unlikely? I don't know, it doesn't to me. Afterall, from our dreams we all know what it feels like to fall 100 feet, without actually experiencing a real fall from such height ever in our lives and where is that feeling coming from?

So, although I might try to find some more relevant neuro-psych research on the subject, for the time being I'm left with a dream that I enjoy and you are left with some food for thought ;)