Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not whining here, nor am I looking for pity and sympathy, I just want to describe my morning struggle with myself, and the aftereffects of thereof...
Although objectively, during the past few weeks, I've been quite productive, (you know, getting my life back together, becoming a proud owner of new washing machine, buying a bicycle and actually riding it daily, managing to get a "shared custody" of my dog, working on my design skills (see below), reconnecting with my old friends and making some new ones), subjectively I don't really feel I've achieved that much.
The thing that threw me off this morning was that little nagging voice back in the darkest pits of my mind, asking a simple question, "you are just playing around, what the hell are you doing and where the hell do you think it will lead?"... Of course, since it was the voice of that little monster hiding in all of us, it provided me with an answer right away... "nothing and nowhere"...
So, I say, nay, I shout for the whole wide world to hear it, "F*ck you, you little b*tch, I'm gonna show you who's the BOSS here"...
I've never expected to get my life together in one week and if it's small steps it takes, then small steps it is!
The small step of today is cleaning this mess of an apartment. For the past two and something years I've been keeping this place solely as a storage space for all my stuff. Since I've rented it, I slept here not more than a dozen times, dropping by every now and then just to get different clothes (depending on season), pick up some paperwork or documents I needed and that was it. This place, for two years, has basically been gathering dust, excess clothes and piles of paperwork. It looks accordingly to what its purpose has been so far. I haven't even unpacked the stuff my ex dropped off after the break up (although there might be an underlying reason there).
Frankly, I think this place needs to be organized, rather than cleaned, but you get what I mean. Today I finally unpack, reorganize my stuff and put it all away. There are some power outlets that need fixing. Kitchen is going to be a bit of a challenge, but hey. Tomorrow (today it's Sunday and I'm in Greece, I don't think I need to say more) I'm getting a decent vacuum cleaner (the one I have now must have been manufactured in 70's, at this point it's easier to try to kick the dust to death, rather than using that old piece of junk) and I'm gonna do some serious damage.
As a small bonus step for tomorrow, I found the cheapest gym around (which is still ridiculously expensive, c'est la vie) and I'm signing up...
Anyway, so you can agree with me that the time I put into improving and reinventing myself hasn't been wasted, here are some examples of what I've been working on...
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